Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Watch Your Backs, Von Trapps!

We were asked to speak and perform a musical number at the local retirement community's branch this Sunday. Anyone that knows me knows that I can't sing. At all. Think Cameron Diaz in My Best Friend's Wedding. Seriously, 14 root canals would be preferable to performing in a musical number in front of people. This is all the more shameful considering my last name and the musical heritage that comes with it. I basically married into a musical dynasty (check your LDS hymn books if you don't believe me).

But, I figured that the odds were good that a considerable portion of the audience would probably be slightly hard of hearing and that if you HAVE to sing in public, that's the place to do it. Our theme was "Families," so we decided to sing "Families Can Be Together Forever" (both verses!). It's one of our family's favorite hymns. Carter worked out an accompaniment on the guitar and we practiced with the little girls for a couple of weeks.

The big day came and I dressed the girls all fancy and put pretty bows in their hair (I'd post a picture but it took so long to primp them that we ran out of time to do a photo shoot). I gave my talk (which, considering what I had to do next, felt like no big deal). And then it was time. Gulp. We led the girls to the front. They sang their little hearts out (and I stood at the back and sang very quietly). Let me tell you, they worked that crowd. And, of course, Carter carried us. I think we (they) were a hit judging by all the sweet old ladies and gentleman that came up to thank us afterward. Indeed, my suspicions were correct. The moral of this story is, if you can't sing a lick but HAVE to do a musical number, go do it at a retirement community inhabited by exceedingly kind people! And hide behind plenty of cute little girls.


Chloe really enjoyed singing along with the guitar. She went home and made one for herself. I was most impressed by the capo she added at the top. She's such a funny girl.

Unfortunately, her eardrum burst last night. I'm scared it might be partially my fault. Do you think my bad singing made her ear literally bleed? I know that bacteria that caused the infection (that are being killed as we speak by the heavy duty antibiotics we got at the doctor's today) are somewhat responsible. But that's quite a coincidence, don't you think? My career as a singer will be ruined when this gets out . . .

7 comments:

  1. Wow! That's super cool! This IS the place to come to get the cool stories about the Durham family! A certain husband of yours has been QUITE loathe to share such entertaining tidbits, if I do say so myself. One time in Florence we saw these parents and their kids playing instruments and singing songs as a family band in the street. I think you guys have a future. In Florence. In the street. All the best.

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  2. That is one awesome Quaker guitar.

    I'm sure you guys were awesome and I bet everyone just loved it!

    Kelly, I don't want to say that I'm glad you don't sing, but I will say it will make it easier on my husband to be if he is a non-singer. Of course if I do marry a singer, I feel like our family could use a tenor.

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  3. And just like Cameron, I'm sure it is this incapability that cements your "endearing" status with all who meet you. There's only one way to find out about the true cause of the eardrum explosion. Try some karaoke next- see if anyone runs out of the room with blood dripping from their ears.

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  4. Ha! -- I had no idea Kelly was dreading this. At all. She didn't let on one bit.

    The capo is a nice touch, but check out the pick guard! No detail is too small for Chloe.

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  5. Uh oh. Piper's eardrum ruptured today. Not a good sign.

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  6. Yep, every time we sing "With Humble Heart" Matt points out helped write it....
    Eardrum rupture? Sounds HORRID!
    I'm sorry!

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  7. Why didn't you tell me? I would have come! You know you'll have to do it for us sometime...

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