Victoria Gets Me

One of these days, I'm going to see The Young Victoria. I love Emily Blunt. I love the story of Victoria and Albert. And, of course, I love all things to do with England. And while I highly doubt I'll be seeing it in the theater, I do live in an age where movies go to DVD very quickly (it's already saved in my NetFlix queue!). In the meantime, I'm enjoying the press that the movie and the late queen have been getting.

Today I read the most entertaining article about her in Newsweek (you can check it out here). It had to do with her thoughts and ideas about motherhood. She wasn't a fan, apparently.

Victoria and Albert had nine children (meaning Victoria spent almost an entire decade being pregnant). Until her last two children, she was denied anesthetics during childbirth because priests believed that "women should suffer for original sin." She felt that having children was the "shadow side" of marriage. And while I don't find being a woman "unenviable," I kinda get where she's coming from.

Take this week, for example. Not exactly a red banner one in my life. We had a total of six severe ear infections (two so bad that little eardrums actually burst). This means that three kids are on antibiotics right now. My time has been spent shuttling kids to the doctor, filling prescriptions and then trying to remember which bottle of medicine goes to which kid (and I would have failed completely were it not for the Target pharmacy's genius banding system--as it is I've only confused a couple of doses). Don't get me started on how difficult it is to get the entire dose down the little throats or how awful the hurt tummies and protesting digestive tracks are. These drugs are STRONG. All this while I was struggling to overcome a wicked bout of mastitis (caused by the eating strike Tessa went on when her ears started hurting)--yeah, not super fun.

I know I'm spending my time well. I've comforted the sick and afflicted, fed the hungry, clothed the naked. Seriously, my to-do list comes straight out of the New Testament. But I also haven't made it through a night without getting up at least once (most often, 2-3 times). I know it's good, honest work and I'm blessed to have a husband who has helped me do all of these jobs. It's quite fulfilling, really, taking care of this family together. I cannot imagine doing anything else. I love my kids more than anything. I love being a mom. But I also have to admit that it's utterly exhausting. When you add up the almost nine straight years of being pregnant or nursing that I've just been through, all the sleepless nights over those years, and then all the desperate needs I've had to fill, well, I feel like it's a miracle I'm not a puddle on the floor right now.

So when I read this article about Victoria, a queen, who struggled with motherhood, who felt like her husband (a King among men!) "did not understand the sacrifice and exhaustion involved," who admitted to feeling like "half oneself" during the "ailing, aching state a young wife is generally doomed to," and who felt "pinned down, [like] one's wings are clipped," I felt better. I know those are pretty negative statements, but they made me giggle when I read them. I generally feel quite positive about my vocation, but there are days where I understand completely what she means. She had wealth, domestic servants to care for the children and her palace, AND a great marriage. But she still sometimes felt like that puddle on the floor. (Of course, she did also have to rule a country and live in a far less enlightened time. And have twice as many kids without the benefit of an epidural. But still.) I think we're kindred spirits. We're both mothers and we both understand the physical, mental, and emotional tax that must be paid for all the joy that motherhood brings. Yep, Victoria and I get each other.