Those of you who pay attention to the "What I'm Reading" gadget here on Kell's Belles deserve an explanation about my latest literary choice. It's no secret that Twilight by Stephanie Meyer bothers me to no end. I read the first novel over a year ago and became a pretty vocal opponent to this pop culture craze (click here if you missed that episode). I swore then that I would avoid all the rest of the novels. So what in the world is New Moon doing on my nightstand?Unfortunately, I have to read just about everything that comes through my front door. I waste vast amounts of time on this weakness of mine. We're talking magazines, catalogs, packets of coupons. EVERYTHING. Just ask the Jehovah's Witnesses who visited repeatedly to discuss the Watchtowers they left me. They were always shocked that I actually knew what was in them. (Side Note: Perhaps it was wrong to keep inviting them in, but I had just moved AND had a baby. I was lonely and they were such sweet girls that would show up every Tuesday. I actually got to be friends with one of them but they wouldn't let her come anymore when they realized I had no interest in converting.) Anyway, in a similar attempt to convert me to the cult of Stephanie Meyer, my aunt shipped me a copy of New Moon. And yes, she knows about my little reading problem. You guys, it has the new book smell and everything. How can I resist?
But even as I cave into reading this book, rest assured that it will likely only serve to cement my anti-Edward status. I hear it's the weakest of the bunch. But I'm counting it as research for the essay I'm working on about a healthier alternative cinematic experience on November 20th. Nevertheless, I shall try to be open minded and try to willingly suspend my disbelief in sparkly vampires. But then again, I am the woman who read her daughters a Disney's The Little Mermaid storybook last night and followed it with a 20 minute conversation about how Ariel should never have compromised herself like that for a man. So yeah, I don't see myself eating crow any time soon.
You poor thing. I feel your pain. For me it was just wondering what the heck everyone was referring to.
ReplyDeleteJust do what I did- read them all over the period of three days, (Christmas break last year) and then they morph into a blur and you kind of appreciate the creativity of the storyline. The last one is the best. Well- most imaginative, anyway. If you hate the Edward character, you should read the Edward point of view Meyer did of the first book. (She's got it posted on her website and refuses to publish it because someone got their hands on a manuscript and leaked it.) It smooths out a couple of things you hate him for. And fills in a couple of holes she leaves in the first book.
Anyway. You poor thing. It is impossible to resist that smell.
Is that cackling you hear clear over in L.A.? Oh! Yes, it is!
ReplyDeleteAuntie Bad Influence
Team Edward - President of the LaPush Jacob Over A Cliff League
Member of the Facebook group "Because I read Twilight I have unrealistic expectations in Men"
You, too, can become a member if, after you read Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse or Breaking Dawn by Stephenie Meyer, you want your boyfriend/husband to...
(For Edward Fans)
- Play piano
- Be able to protect you from oncoming traffic with only his fist
- Quote Romeo & Juliet to you
- Only have eyes for you even when a hot waitress is throwing herself at him
- Not be embarrassed that he only dreams about you (if he could dream...)
(For Jake fans)
- be able to build you a car from scratch
- be able to keep you warm in sub-zero weather
- be willing to leave/fight his own pack for you
- tell you things instead of being controllingly overprotective and co-dependent
P.S. My belly is sore from being bent over double laughing all day at the most recent Chloeism!
ReplyDeleteI'm staying out of this. Enjoy!
ReplyDeleteI made it to page 14 before I had to put the book down and take a breather. I can't handle Bella's ridiculousness and I don't know if I'm going to make it through this book, new book smell or not.
ReplyDeleteI was in Nordstrom today. Browsing. And on the 4 foot screen where they play music videos this 16 year old girl pop's up, "You guys! Are YOU as excited for the Premiere of New Moon as I am? Guess what, BP is totally having parties at select locations and I heard that SOME of the cast members will be there to MEET PEOPLE! OMG what am I going to wear? BP totally has the styles that they wear on New Moon and a salesperson even helped me put together this awesome outfit! So...." BLAH BLAH BLAH I could barely handle it. But I found some jeans that I would only purchase after trying on. So the stupid thing ended and music was back up for a minute, till I suddenly heard "YOU GUYS!! ARE YOU AS EXCITED FOR NEW MOON!!" and I just about died. So I yanked the pants off and grabbed the things I really wanted to buy and stood at the desk while the clerk rung me up- me tapping my nails on the counter in fear that the 16 year old could return at any minute..... and the clerk asks "Would you like the receipt in the bag?" and I say "YES." and she says "Are you mad? You look mad...." and I said "No I've just got to get out of here before that New Moon ad comes back on....
ReplyDeleteAnd everyone behind the counter laughed as I bolted out of there.
Long comment. Sorry. Good luck with the book. I'll lend you "14,000 things to be happy about."
Kelly, you made it through a total of forty months of pregnancy and childbirth x 4 and you are saying you can't handle a little Stephanie Meyers??? (Sneezingcopout!) And, hey, Bella is DEPRESSED because her soulmate (if he had one) just dumped her. Imagine if you had a revelation of who you were supposed to end up with and he, for your own stupid good, dumped ya... That would be pretty devastating, right? Just sayin'... Have some compassion, woman.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Anonymous. Again.
No, Edward and Bella are still together at this point . . . he's watching her watch Romeo and Juliet. And yeah, I threw up in my mouth a little at that point.
ReplyDeleteHAHAHA "WATCHING HER WATCH ROMEO AND JULIET?????!!!" SOMEONE WROTE THIS IN A BOOK?!
ReplyDeleteLisa, it gets worse. He sits in her room and watches her sleep all night, too. Am I the only one that finds that creepy instead of romantic?
ReplyDeleteWell.....he's a vampire, right? I'm not sure how far from "creepy" the story can really stray...
ReplyDeleteI'm excited to read your essay, but I must admit that I am starting to rethink the whole "courtly love is the great western wound" logic I have been such a fan of. Mostly because I am realizing that that EVERYONE for the last 10 years has taken that stance and when things are overly trendy I usually to want to go against them (hence my own opposition to Twilight). I mean, I still hate the hollywood version of it, but I think its origional purpose was pretty admirable. So yeah, we might have to discuss it further when you finish your essay.
ReplyDeleteHey, a teen couple dipicted who DON'T do more than barely kiss before getting married. We should be turning handsprings at that message. Watching her sleep is facinating to him because she says his name a lot in her dreams - makes sense to me. Read MIDNIGHT SUN, a retelling of TWILIGHT from Edward's POV on Stephanie Meyers' website and you'll see it all more clearly. I like it more than TWILIGHT and will be really miffed if the author doesn't finish it (she's mad 'cause someone leaked it on the 'net before it was done, wah, wah, wah). http://www.stepheniemeyer.com/pdf/midnightsun_partial_draft4.pdf
ReplyDeleteLove,
Anonymous
Holy moly people...it's just a story. Is it great writing? NO! Is it a get lost in it just for the fun of it? Yes. Was it ridiculous? Absolutely! It's completely juvenile and I found myself laughing a lot and wanting to throw up at some of the cheesiness of it all. But, did I read all four books? Yes - because I have to have closure. And in my opinion, the first one is the best. Stephanie Meyer should have stopped there. They just kept getting more and more implausible - especially the fourth.
ReplyDeleteWill I see the new movie? Yup - already have my ticket for opening night. Why? 'Cause it's fun.
You are so smart. You would love Marie's book entitled "Princess Weddings" where they tell the story of each disney princess planning their wedding. Here is an excerpt from "Aurora in: A Dream Come True"
ReplyDeleteAs they went inside the party, Prince Philliip looked around happily. "Whoever decorated this has exquisite taste," said the Prince. "It's very similar to my own."
"I decorated it, silly." Said Princess Aurora, delighted at the Prince's reaction. "It is my wedding gift to you."
"You know me so well," said the Prince, falling even more in love with Aurora. "We're going to have a happy life together."
Marie is reading it right now with a huge smile on her face.
Gasp. Rachel, I didn't even know books like that existed. Whoever is perpetuating the myth that guys care one single bit about wedding decorations should be punished!
ReplyDeleteYeah, I pretty much think anyone who does anything exquisite has tastes "very similar to my own."
ReplyDelete