Doctor's Orders

When I stepped into the examination room at my last prenatal appointment, I spied the horrid little bottle on the counter. Most people look forward to the end of their second trimester, but I always dread it for one reason. The gestational diabetes test. (Insert gagging sound here.)

For those of you that have never had the pleasure of enduring this, let me explain. The gestational diabetes test requires you to abstain from any kind of sugar for 12 hours before the test. Then, one hour before the test, you are required to chug an 8 oz bottle of glucose solution. When the hour has passed, you get your blood drawn and they test it to make sure your insulin levels are appropriate for the amount of sugar you took. It doesn't sound like a big deal, but to me it totally is.

First of all, it's another blood draw. I have a history of not being so great with those. But on top of that, I have the nasty drink to face. I admit it doesn't taste all that bad. Kind of like orange soda with extra sugar. And I always make sure to refrigerate it because that definitely helps it go down. My issue is how my body reacts afterward. I get a terrible headache and it nauseates me to the point of vomiting. I have struggled each and every time to keep it down in order to complete the blood draw. It's a lot of pressure. And I then get to spend the rest of the day feeling wretched. I guess my disdain for this particular procedure wasn't helped by my second pregnancy, where my psycho doctor thought I had GD because one month I gained an extra pound from what her chart said I should. She made me do the test several times over the course of two months. It was torture (and I totally switched doctors--I'm a HUGE proponent of not letting psychos/weight nazis deliver your babies).

So yeah, when I saw that little bottle waiting for me, my stomach did little flips. Since this has been my WORST pregnancy as far as nausea and vomiting go (yep, still struggling at 25 weeks), I knew this test was going to be even more trouble this time around. I needed advice on what to do and fast. So I asked the doctor what happens if I just can't keep the drink down. Would I have to keep doing the test over and over? I explained about my massive puke-out caused by drinking water for the ultrasound (yes, I vomited so violently that I literally saw stars whilst worshiping at the porcelain alter during that prenatal screening). "If I can't keep water down in the morning, how in the world am I going to keep this nasty drink down?" I asked. He smiled and leaned in conspiratorially. "Would it be easier for you to eat something?" I nodded enthusiastically. "Alright. Do not tell the lab you did this. But you can eat a king-sized Snickers bar instead." I couldn't believe my ears. "King-sized?" I asked. "Yes, the one with 50g of sugar. It must be that big. You should be able to hold that down better." Heck yes, I should! He finished by saying, "I'm glad you said something." Let this be a lesson to us all: NEVER be afraid to speak up at the doctor's office! Your reward could potentially be a massive amount of chocolate.

I floated out of the office after that. Whose doctor tells them to eat a Snickers? On purpose? I was one lucky girl, indeed! Instead of dreading my upcoming test, I cannot wait to savor my KING-SIZED Snickers in a couple of weeks. You know what they say. Snickers really satisfies you.

I still had that bottle of glucose drink in my purse. When I got home, I told Carter the story. He was intrigued by my "orange soda with a cup of sugar added" description. It sounded like manna from heaven to him. So do you know what he did? He drank it! And enjoyed it! He didn't even throw up afterward. That man never ceases to amaze me.